Against the Odds Page 10

“Yeah it was. I learned something about myself tonight and I’m not sure I’m happy about it. I guess I have a lot of thinking to do.” She looked at the computer.

  Oh no you don’t, Sasha. You aren’t getting rid of me that easy. “I don’t want you brooding over this. Tell me what your concern is.”

  “You called me a pacifist and I am. There’s too much violence in the world. I’ve always believed that, even as a kid. Now I’ve learned that I get all hot and bothered when you hurt me. That’s wrong. I have defective genes or something. I don’t want to be like that. Pain and pleasure should be on opposite sides of the continuum.”

  There was an easy way to show her the difference, but was it worth the price? “It’s not violence and I didn’t hurt you.”

  “It didn’t tickle either, Jacob.”

  “It wasn’t meant to. You are a strong woman and you want an equally strong man. There’s nothing wrong with that. I didn’t rip out your hair. You weren’t harmed. It was a firm touch designed to focus your attention and quiet the rampant thoughts inside that head of yours. It was not intended to hurt you.” Maybe if he said it enough times she’d allow it to sink in.

  When she didn’t respond, he tried a different tact. “Sasha, do you enjoy rollercoaster rides?” There were a lot of similarities he could draw from to help her see his point.

  “I don’t know. I’ve never ridden one.”

  Fuck. And he’d thought he led a narrow life.

  “Sasha, can you honestly put an erotic spanking or rough sex in the same category as what that douchebag did to you?” He wasn’t sure if he meant the rapist or whoever had set her up for the murder and arson charges.

  “On the surface, no, of course not. But isn’t the underlying need the same? Rape is about control. You said yourself, you like to be in control. You package it up with a romantic bow, but isn’t it the same thing?”

  Emotion surged through him. She was putting him in the same league as a rapist? He brushed the hair from his face, buying himself time to rein in his temper. He pushed her to talk this through with him. He couldn’t very well jump down her throat for speaking her mind. “Have I done anything you’ve objected to?”

  “Well, no,” she admitted.

  “Did I stop every time you asked me to?” It took determination to keep his voice calm when he was really seething inside.

  Again she conceded, “Yes, you did.”

  “Then who was really in control, Sasha?”

  She looked up at him, clearly confused.

  “Would a rapist stop if you asked him to? Would someone who enjoyed causing you pain allow you to determine what activities you engage in? We’re here alone. Physically, you’re no match for me, Sasha. If my desire had been to hurt you, there would have been very little you could do to stop me.” He held up his hand when she started to speak. “But instinctively you knew that was not my intent. No way in hell would you have put yourself in such a compromising situation had you had any fear of me. So what is this really about?” He waited while emotions flittered across her face. Surprise was the only one he was positive of.

  “I wasn’t accusing you of anything, Jacob. I realize now how it must have sounded and I apologize. In truth, I wasn’t thinking about it from your perspective at all. You’ve been very patient with me, much more than I deserve. I don’t question what type of man you are. I question what type of person I am. Have my life experiences warped my sense of love?” She flinched slightly then continued quickly. “Did the synapses in my brain get scrambled and now pain is pleasure and vice versa?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with you, Sasha. And patience should always be given freely.” He hated bringing up the subject again, but it was the only way he knew to make her see the difference. “When the traumatic memories visit you at night, do you physically react?”

  She snorted. “Yeah, I want to vomit.”

  He watched as his point hit home. “Giving control to someone you trust and having no control are two totally different things.”

  “Yes, you’re right.”

  “But?”

  She shrugged. “I just need to think about…things.”

  “Perhaps we should give you a few more things to contemplate.” He was taking a risk. If she enjoyed it, as he hoped she would, it might confuse her further.

  “What do you mean?”

  He chuckled. There was no doubt in his mind that she knew exactly what he was talking about. “Over my lap.”

  The vein in her neck starting pumping double time. She bit her bottom lip and twisted her fingers into knots. He was a complete bastard, but he loved watching her. The more she struggled, the more aroused he became. She was going to choose him. He knew it. And knowing how hard that decision was for her made it all the sweeter.

  “Now, Sasha.” He spread his legs and set her on her feet between them. With one firm hand on her back, he helped position her. “Put your arms around my calf, remember to breathe and relax as much as you can.”

  His cock, hard and ready for action, was pressed against her hip. He didn’t care. He had no intention of hiding his desire.

  Her body was ramrod stiff. He had to give her time to get used to the idea. He rubbed her back, easing the tense muscles. “You’re a beautiful soul, Sasha.” Sid moved down her spine and caressed her cheeks. “There is nothing at all wrong with you. You have a healthy curiosity and we’re going to do a little exploring.”

  He could feel her breathing quicken as his touch roughened. Sid used his forearm to keep her firmly in place. If she was in the zone, his strong hold would offer her a feeling of security and protection. After a few moments, she settled down.

  As he drew his hand back, he felt her tighten up again. “Don’t.”

  “I can’t help it.”

  His hand landed hard on her ass. “Yes, you can.”

  Sasha squeaked, and if not for his forearm holding her down she would have bolted upright.

  “You’re fine. Nothing bad is going to happen to you.” He swatted her other cheek then began to alternate back and forth. He gauged the strength of the impact on the sting and warmth of his palm. “If you reach a point where you can’t take any more, all you have to say is stop.”

  She squirmed and bent her knees, lifting her feet slightly off the ground. “When does the feel good part kick in?”

  Sid laughed. He couldn’t help it. She was perfect. He’d given her ten swats before he rubbed all that glorious pink flesh.

  Sasha moaned and arched her back. “Oh my.”

  His heart soared. At her obvious enjoyment, his cock jumped against her. He wanted to bury it deep inside her pussy. Finding the strength to wait was much harder than he’d anticipated.

  He slid two fingers through her folds. “You’re so wet.” After a few strokes along her G-spot he pulled out and circled her clit.

  “Jacob…” she cried as he stopped.

  “Not yet, Sasha. I don’t want there to be any doubt in your mind about whether or not you like this.”

  She groaned, but relaxed back across him.

  He gave her five more then stopped and massaged away the sting. As the pain turned to pleasure, her fingernails digging into his calf began to relax. He doubted if she was even aware she was clawing him. “What are you thinking?”

  “I’m not.” She giggled.

  The sound was more carefree than he could remember hearing from her. “What are you feeling?”

  “Needy.”

  He plunged his fingers inside her pussy and curled them downward, stroking her where he knew she wanted it the most. With his thumb, he brought her clit to full attention. Her hips began bucking as he wound her tighter. The little sounds she made took his need to a new level.

  She was beyond thinking, recrimination was out too. Maybe later, but right now she was living in the moment. This man, this stranger, seemed to know her body better than she did. How did that work?

  Oh, God! She was so close. If he stopped again, she might not survive it.<
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  “Are you willing to admit you’re submissive?”

  His voice held a laissez-faire tone that bothered her on some level, but it shouldn’t have. She wanted him to stay impersonal, neutral, take it or leave it…didn’t she? Friends with benefits, no strings attached was the only thing she had to offer.

  “Only to you,” she whispered, just before he took her over the edge.

  Wave after wave of pleasure swamped her. The release was like nothing she’d ever experienced before. Her brain floated amongst the clouds as sensations overwhelmed her.

  She felt his arms around her, holding her tightly as reality came back into focus. He kept telling her he’d keep her safe. If only he could. She choked back a sob. Going there wouldn’t solve a damn thing, but there was something she could give him.

  His cock was pressed against her hip and she clenched her muscles, hoping he’d get the hint. With a growl, he took her to the floor and positioned her on all fours. She heard him rustling with something and wondered what he was waiting for. She wiggled her butt, hoping to entice him back to her.

  “This is the last one I have with me. We need to make it count.”

  From her peripheral vision she saw a condom wrapper land on the ground beside them. A moment later, she felt him poised at her entrance. Leaning over her, he whispered, “You know…asses aren’t the only thing that can enjoy an erotic spanking.”

  Before she could ask what he was talking about, his fingers began to drive her crazy, gliding over her clit in a circular motion. She found it hard to stay still as his cock slowly impaled her.

  A satisfied sigh escaped her lips. She’d thought this position was too raw for her tastes, but she’d been wrong. He filled her completely and she loved it. She rocked back and forth in perfect rhythm with him. The pace was delicious, a slow and languid ride.

  Suddenly his fingers swatted her clit. A shocked scream took the place of her sensual moans. She froze as he did it again and again, each time with slightly more force. Confusion filled her mind. She shouldn’t like the sharp sting on her delicate private parts.

  As his fingers swirled over her throbbing pussy, she thought she’d died and gone to heaven. “Oh, God.”

  Jacob laughed. “You’re going to come for me like this and then you’re going to thank me for spanking your pussy.”

  She had no answer for him. Her brain had disengaged, leaving her only capable of feeling.

  He continued to pump into her as he swatted. Every few moments he’d massage the ache, driving her need higher.

  She hung her head, panting, as every muscle in her body grew taut and ready to explode. Two more strikes and his silky command, “Come for me, baby,” did the trick.

  As she shook from her third orgasm, sensations flooded her system. They were now familiar but still bordered on too much to comprehend. From somewhere far away, she heard Jacob’s guttural shout and knew he’d climaxed along with her. The constant noise in her brain, the never ending whirl of thoughts, was finally quiet as she collapsed, exhilarated and exhausted. Together they spooned on the soft carpet of her office.

  * * * *

  Sid woke with Sasha pillowed on his biceps. He hurt all over. Between the riding lessons, the fire and taking her like a man possessed on the floor of all places, his body was complaining, but his mind was at peace. It was more than just the fan-fucking-tastic sex too. He’d had great sex before, but it had never felt like this.

  How was she going to take it when she found out he’d deceived her? He didn’t want to deal with that until he had more time to cement her feelings for him. With some luck they’d track down Hackman quickly, and if he could keep her occupied at night, away from her storage unit, it might buy him some time.

  He knew her first thoughts would be to run. He’d gotten too close last night. Her whispered comment, ’Only to you’, told him she’d let him in, granted him something special. As skittish as she was, in the light of day that closeness was going to freak her out. He was going to have a bucking bronco on his hands once she woke up.

  He noticed her breathing changed, but she continued to lie perfectly still, probably trying to find an excuse to send him on his way. Sorry, baby, that ain’t happening.

  “Hey, sleepyhead. Up and at ‘em. If you’re half as hungry as I am, then we need to hit a breakfast place ASAP.” He bent forward and kissed her neck slowly, expressing with his lips what he didn’t dare voice aloud.

  Instantly the tension left her muscles and she tipped her head, giving him more access. His heart was tripping dangerously. He could not screw this up.

  “I’m not a breakfast eater.”

  He clutched his chest and fell back onto the floor. “I’m crushed. Are you saying our evening was so uneventful you didn’t even work up an appetite?” Sitting forward, he looked her square in the eye, daring her say the night had been anything but amazing. Personally, he couldn’t remember ever clicking with a woman like he clicked with Sasha.

  A beautiful blush stole over her cheeks. “I didn’t say that.” She looked around her office and began to pick up articles of clothing.

  “I’m hungry, Sasha, and I don’t want to eat alone. Besides, I need to take you back to your car anyway.” He figured that would sway her and he was pleased when she nodded.

  “Oh, I forgot. Okay. First dibs on the bathroom.” She sent him a saucy smile as she dashed away.

  While she was out of the room, he went to her computers, quickly duplicated all the files onto a flash drive, and installed a few programs that would monitor her keystrokes in the guise of firewall protection. When she came out of the restroom, he was standing naked behind her desk closing everything out.

  Sasha stopped dead in her tracks. “That’s a sight I never expected to see in my office. Rather pleasing though,” she teased him.

  He chuckled, glad to see she wasn’t regretting her decision to be with him. “If I had more condoms, I’d bend you over the desk and eat my breakfast right here.”

  She blanched the slightest bit. “I think I need a shower before we consider anything like that.” She swiped a hand through her hair.

  “I believe you’re perfectly edible as is, but it’s a moot point because I know I wouldn’t be able to stay out of you.” He dressed in front of her, a little afraid that if he let her out of his sight she’d disappear on him. In no time at all, they were headed out to his car.

  Sasha checked her watch and looked annoyed.

  “What’s wrong? Do you have an appointment this morning?” It would get really messy if she did. Protecting her in a situation like that would prove difficult. He took a thorough glance around the street as she locked the door behind them.

  She shook her head. “My temp should have been here seven minutes ago.” Her arctic tone spoke volumes.

  The fact that Sasha didn’t even use Cheryl’s name didn’t bode well. Most likely Cheryl was going to be looking for another job quicker than she’d expected. Sasha must be really irritated with her.

  Sid walked Sasha to the passenger side, discreetly blocking her body from view as much as possible, and opened the door for her. Once she was safely seated, he went around to his side and got in. “Any preferences?”

  Sasha had a sparkle in her eyes when she answered, “Surprise me.”

  They both laughed. Damn, it felt good, but it was short-lived.

  As he pulled out into traffic, he noticed a car farther down the block enter the flow as well. It had been parked on the street and Sid thought it odd that he hadn’t seen anyone entering the vehicle. It was possible the driver had been checking his phone or something else just as innocent. Then again, it could be Hackman.

  He chose a family restaurant that he frequented occasionally. He was careful to always pay cash and never give his name. Plus, they had great food.

  Using his rearview mirror, he kept tabs on the other car. It never got close enough that he could see the driver. Considering he was going at or below the speed limit, that aroused his susp
icions as well.

  “Ah shit. Don’t tell anyone, but I made a wrong turn.” He headed down an alley then snaked behind the bank. He stopped just short of the building’s edge and waited.

  “Is something wrong?” Sasha asked as she looked around.

  “No. Not really. I was just trying to find another entrance. I don’t want to look like an idiot by crossing four lanes of traffic just to turn back in one store later.” He forced a chuckle.

  Sasha tossed her head back and laughed. With her finger she drew an X across her heart. “Your secret is safe with me. If anyone tries to give you trouble, I’ll say it was my mistake.”

  “Oh, no you won’t. I take responsibility for my mistakes. It helps me learn not to make them again.” The car should have driven by, but it hadn’t. He couldn’t stay there any longer without further arousing her suspicions. Slowly, he pulled forward. Even with the better vantage point, the car was nowhere in sight.

  He pulled into the turning lane then almost immediately turned back. There were several other businesses on the street and the driver could have been headed to any of them. In his head, he tossed around the idea of going to another restaurant, but decided to risk it.

  Over the years, he’d learned to listen to his gut instincts. They hadn’t steered him wrong yet. Had he learned his lesson early on, he wouldn’t have a slug inside his head. They’d been loud and clear that day and like a dumb-ass he’d ignored them.

  Sid backed into a spot next to a retaining wall. If he needed to, he could make a quick getaway. He put his hand on Sasha’s thigh. “Stay here. Let me get your door for you.” He paused long enough to make sure she’d obey him.

  Once they were out of the car, he set a brisk pace to the entrance. They were at their most vulnerable while out in the open. Sasha stayed right beside him. He scanned inside the café as much as the windows would allow before holding the door for her.

  “Good morning. Good to see ya again,” one of the waitresses shouted to him as she made her way to a table with an armload of plates and beverages. “Your spot’s open.” She nodded toward the back wall. “Earl Gray tea coming up. What can I get for you, sweetie?”