Bondage Unlimited Page 10
Eva parked on the street, probably to ensure a quick getaway. She was frustratingly elusive.
As she walked up the drive, Gio smiled. Just seeing her made him happy.
“It’s beautiful. You must be so proud.” She turned and looked again at the house. “I love the stone work.”
“Ignore the mess. I wasn’t expecting company.” He’d been in a daze since he’d found Eva again. He had no idea if the house was clean or not.
Gio unlocked the door and stepped back, allowing her to go in first.
Eva gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh, Gio. It’s exactly as you planned.” She looked over her shoulder at him.
Her eyes were bright and he couldn’t stop his arms from wrapping around her. “We planned, Eva. This is the house we planned.”
“Why did you do this, Gio?” Her voice was strained.
He held her a little tighter and she relaxed into him. “I’ve never stopped thinking about you, Eva.”
She tensed and he reluctantly let her go.
“Let me show you the rest of the house.” He took her hand and led her to the den.
Eva ran her fingers along the bookshelves he’d built by hand. She took her time reading the titles.
“All the classics,” she whispered.
Gio bent down and swung open the cabinet doors, revealing children’s books. “You told me once that kids imitated their parents and it was important for them to see their parents read.”
She looked up at him. “You’re killing me, Gio.”
“No, I’m loving you, Eva. I’ve never stopped.” As tears filled her eyes, he knew he was pressing her too hard, too soon. “These were my favorites growing up. I’m sure you know a lot of better ones.”
Eva thumbed through the titles. “I use a lot of these in my classroom.” She stood up and slowly closed the cabinet doors. “This is a very comfortable room. It looks like you spend a lot of time in here.”
He nodded. “I have an office downtown where I meet clients, but I do as much work as I can here at home.” Gio took her hand and led her to the next room. He held his breath, wondering how she’d respond.
“Your heart is pounding, Gio. What’s in here?” She leaned against the door and looked into his eyes.
“With little exception, I built this house exactly as we designed it.” He hoped she wouldn’t make him say it out loud. When he’d broken ground, Eva had been out of his life for several years and there hadn’t been any hope that they’d ever see each other again. It was a little pathetic really to have clung to the memory his own actions had tarnished.
“This is my dream office?” she asked, looking a little shell-shocked.
“Open the door.”
Eva put her hand on the knob, but waited. “I’m afraid.”
“Of what?” Gio put his hands on her shoulders and gave her a gentle massage.
“I’m falling for you all over again.” She shook her head. “No, the truth is I never fell out of love with you.”
“Is that really such a bad thing?” he asked as he opened the door and turned on the lights. When she hesitated, he nudged her into the room with his body.
A soft cry came from Eva as she slid her hand along the counter and looked out through the glass wall. He’d landscaped the backyard with the plants he knew she loved. Bower vines, bougainvillea, Chinaberries and pine trees were all within view of the window.
Eva’s legs buckled. Gio grabbed her around the waist then pulled out the desk chair and eased her into it.
“We can’t do this, Gio.”
He knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his. “Yes, we can. I love you. I always have and you just admitted that you still love me. We’re supposed to be together.”
She shook her head. “You left. Instead of talking to me, you just hightailed it out of there. I know you think you warned me, with the song, but I didn’t understand what you were trying to tell me. I was completely blindsided.”
“Whoa, wait a minute,” he interrupted her. “That song wasn’t a warning. I was spilling my guts out to you, telling you how much you meant to me and that I would protect you no matter what.”
“Telling me I was a burden isn’t exactly a declaration of undying love.” She continued to stare out of the window.
“What are you talking about? You were never my burden.” He tapped his finger on the counter. “Eva, I was a kid. I knew I was a Dominant, but I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. Being raised in the lifestyle was a mixed blessing. My parents tried to shelter me, but I would sneak down to the club. I was too young to understand the intent behind some of the scenes I watched. That, combined with the intense need to keep the happenings at the club private, had me convinced that my desires were…wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being a Dominant, Gio,” Eva assured him.
“I know that now and I wanted to believe it then, but our backgrounds were so diametrically opposed, it just reinforced my concerns. I thought I was protecting you from my darker passions. When we made love and I couldn’t stop fantasizing about a D/s relationship, I thought the only way to keep you safe was to leave. I was wrong, and I cost us six years. Please don’t keep us apart any longer.” His heart was in her hands and if she walked away from him, he didn’t know how he’d get over it.
Gio had a sudden revelation. This horrible gut wrenching feeling was what Eva must have felt that night, when he’d left her. He’d been so sure that he was doing the right thing. He’d never allowed himself to consider how badly he’d hurt her.
“I’m so sorry, Eva. I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but I’m asking anyway. Hell, I’m begging you. Please. I won’t let you down again.”
When she looked up at him, tears were rimming her eyes. “I need time to think, Gio. For the last six years, I’ve wondered what I did wrong. I’ve jumped to conclusions time and time again and allowed my imagination to fill in the blanks. Just give me some space right now.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “But no more shutting me out. We’re going to talk about the past and our future and our day-to-day lives. It’s the only way we’re going to work through this.”
“Okay,” she murmured against his neck.
He held her, reveling in his ability to do so. But all too soon, she lifted her head.
Gio was afraid she was going to leave and he was unwilling for their time together to be over. He hoped that if he kept it light, she’d stay a little while longer. “Shall we finish the tour?”
She sniffled then nodded.
As they walked past the staircase, Eva rubbed her hand over the railing. “Let me guess—two bedrooms, one bath and a game room upstairs.” She had a smile on her face that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Complete with claw-foot pool table. Wanna play a game?”
“Not this time.” She walked to the center of the great room then spun in a circle. “This is perfect. I love the hardwood mosaic floor. I’ve never seen anything like that. Is it difficult to keep the wood nice in the kitchen?”
“You told me wood gave you a warm feeling, but you never specified the hue, so I went with a mosaic that incorporated all three. In the kitchen, I used tile that was made to look like hardwood slats. Easy to clean and durable, but maintains the look.” He’d tried to think of everything.
She chuckled. “I didn’t know anyone made such a thing.”
“The only change I made to the original design was I flipped the master bedroom with the garage.” He placed his hand on her lower back and led her to the door.
“We talked about that. You wanted the bedroom in the back for added privacy.”
She remembered. “You’re right. I did. Open the door, though, and I think you’ll see why I switched it.”
“Oh my goodness,” Eva exclaimed as she gazed out of the window at the cityscape. “I had no idea your house was so high on the hill.” She walked closer to the glass. “Oh, Gio, you know how I love to look at the light
s.”
He stood behind her and slid his arm around her waist, drawing them closer together. “We used to sit for hours on the roof of our dorm enjoying the view. Back then, I didn’t realize they had one way glass for residential use. We can see out, but no one can see in.”
“So that’s why you don’t have any curtains or blinds in here.”
He shrugged. “None needed.”
“I guess your habit of sleeping in until noon is over,” she teased.
“Yeah, I’m up with the sun. If I sleep in till eight, I feel like I’ve wasted half the day.”
“That’s quite the departure from our college days.” Eva sat on the corner of the bed and looked around the room.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of having you in this room… In my bed.” He backed away from temptation and stood in the doorway.
“I will admit, I expected more of a dungeon-y bedroom set—at least a wrought iron headboard or chains or something.” She laughed.
Although she was teasing him, he suspected she was telling the truth, too. “Like I told you before, I don’t usually see women outside of Dom’s Place. I’ve been a little busy, first going to school then building my business.” He ducked his head, feeling awkward having to justify the fact that he wasn’t bringing women home and swinging them from the rafters. “Tell me something, Eva. Just how many men have you slept with besides me?”
Eva looked out of the window. “I’ll think I’ll take the fifth on that question.”
“You told me you don’t mix work and pleasure. Considering how hard you work, how many hours you spend doing your job, it doesn’t leave much time for dating. Therefore, I’m guessing it’s a very small number. You may have scened sometimes, but I don’t think you’ve had intercourse with very many men.”
“Would it make a difference if I had? Would it change how you feel about me, if I told you I’d slept with thirty-nine other men? That once you left and Rhonda introduced me to BDSM, I went a little wild? That I slept with every guy who showed an interest, just to prove I could?” She met and held his gaze.
Gio watched her closely. She was playing a game, but he wasn’t sure what it was. “No, it wouldn’t change how I feel… Well, that’s not entirely true. I’d feel like an even bigger piece of shit, if my behavior made you think you had something to prove.” Oh, hold the bus!
He went to her then. “I did do that, didn’t I? That’s why you played the bitch in the hotel room the other night. You felt like you had to prove something to me… No, you had something to prove to yourself.” It all made sense now.
Tears fell down her cheeks as she nodded.
“No, Eva, it doesn’t matter how many men you’ve been with. Whether it’s thirty-nine or a hundred and thirty-nine, it doesn’t matter. You own my heart. You always have.” He took her in his arms and rocked her back and forth.
“Tell me about it, Eva.” He laid her down on the bed so she was facing the city lights and he slid in behind her. “Remember in college, we’d go up on the roof of the dorm and share that ratty, old chaise-longue we bought at a thrift store?” Only then would she really open up and talk about her fears.
“Yeah, those were good times.” She sounded a million miles away.
“Talk to me, Eva. Tell me what my leaving did to you.” He needed to know.
“I didn’t know what I’d done wrong.”
Keeping silent was one of the hardest things Gio had ever done, but he managed it and was rewarded for his efforts.
“I was afraid I wasn’t sexy enough or good enough in bed. I figured you didn’t want to spend your life in a lackluster marriage and you were too honorable to say so. When I went to the club with Rhonda, it was a real eye opener… It reinforced my fears. I really did suck in bed.” She spoke in a rush, as if she was eager to get it off her chest.
“No, sweetheart.” He kissed her neck and brushed away her tears. “You were perfect and you still are. This whole mess was my fault.”
“Gio… I haven’t slept with anyone else. I wanted to. I wanted someone to take the hurt away, but I was too afraid they’d walk out on me too,” she confessed quietly.
“Oh, Eva. How can you ever forgive me?” Gio’s heart was breaking. The last person in the world he’d wanted to hurt was Eva. “No wonder you didn’t want me to hold you. You must hate me.”
“I don’t hate you.”
Her voice was monotone and without any emotion. Frankly, it scared the hell out of him. He’d rather she be angry at him. “Maybe you should.”
“I wanted to kill myself. I had it planned,” she whispered.
His throat constricted and he couldn’t breathe. “Don’t say that. Don’t even think it, ever again.” He pulled her onto her back so he could see her face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.
“Gio, I can’t go through that again. I have to get my head straight before I can consider us starting a real relationship. So much has happened in the last few days…” Her voice trailed off and she stood up.
“Stay with me tonight, Eva. I promise nothing will happen. I just want to hold you.” He was afraid if he let her go he’d never get her back.
“I can’t, Gio.” She walked to the door.
“Why, Eva? Why won’t you let me hold you tonight?” He wanted to pull her back, to tie her to the bed and never let her go.
“Because I want it too much.”
* * * *
Eva slept well for the first time in forever. She’d intended to spend the night thinking, but as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out. For all the sleep she’d gotten, she still had damn poor concentration at work. Gio had texted her several times and she’d agreed to visit his club this evening.
While her students had been in art class she’d examined her hesitancy from all angles. She wasn’t proud of what she’d found. It would be nice to lay it off on Gio but the truth was that if she were stronger, she’d be able to handle whatever life threw at her.
The day had been a whirl and now Gio was going to pick her up at any minute. She didn’t have any more answers now than she had when she’d left his home the night before.
Seeing his house, lying together watching the city lights—it had brought back so many memories, both good and bad. For the longest time, she’d tried to shut them all out. She couldn’t remember the good times without reliving the bad.
She was so nervous. Although she’d met his family at the wedding, she’d been fully clothed and it hadn’t been a sexual environment. The idea of scening with his family around was so awkward. She just didn’t know if she could go through with it. If the situation had been different, they’d be her in-laws now. Hell, if she mustered the courage, it could still happen.
Eva picked up her cell phone. Maybe she should cancel now rather than embarrass them both in front of his family and friends. She brought up her texting app and began her message when the doorbell rang. Damn it. It was too late.
She tossed her phone into her purse and answered the door. Gio’s imposing frame filled her little studio apartment, reminding her just how large and spacious his home was compared to her little place.
“Please sit down. Can I get you anything?” Her manners were on autopilot.
Gio gave her a peck on the cheek. “No, thanks. Are you ready to go?”
Eva plopped down on the couch. “Not really.”
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He sat on the edge beside her and laid his hand on her knee.
“I don’t think I can do this.” She didn’t want to disappoint him but with each passing moment, she was that much closer to a panic attack.
“What do you mean, Eva? What can’t you do?” The vein in his neck bulged.
“Your family is going to be there, Gio. I can’t scene in front of your parents.”
A weird expression appeared on his face and she could tell he was trying not to smile. “You scared me for a minute. I thought… Never mind. I know my family can be a bit daunting, but believe me,
they’ve seen it all before.”
She shook her head. “No, Gio, I’m serious. I can’t. I would die if they saw me naked.”
“Come here.” He patted his lap.
Eva went to him and rested her head against his shoulder.
“What else concerns you?” he asked softly.
“Gio, your parents aren’t my peers. They’re my elders. I’m just not comfortable being naked or aroused in their company. I know sex is natural and all that…” She didn’t know how to explain it. It just felt wrong.
He held her tight and rocked her back and forth. “Shh. It’s okay. How about we tour the club and just hang out? We’ll play everything else by ear. If you are uncomfortable, we’ll leave.”
“I’m going to embarrass you, Gio. You told me your parents are big on protocols and I only know the most basic. Don’t ask me to do this,” she begged.
“Sweetheart, you could never embarrass me.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be honest, though, I had something special planned for this evening. I think I can keep it non-arousing and your attire won’t impact the surprise. Are you willing to trust me?”
“Gio,” Eva groaned. “You’re killing me.”
He laughed. “No, I keep telling you that I’m loving you. There’s a big difference. Besides, my family is an acquired taste. They kind of grow on you…like mold on cheese.”
“That’s not very reassuring,” she chided him. “Gio, we both know that my behavior reflects on you. What if I do or say something wrong?”
Gio tipped her chin upward until their eyes met. “I have zero concerns about this. Trust me. If a situation arises that calls for a certain action, I promise to give you very detailed instructions. It will be okay, Eva. Let me show you.”
A submissive was a reflection of their Dominant. “I know subs are reprimanded all the time—disciplined and punished when they don’t follow protocol—and, theoretically, I’m okay with that. But, Gio, if you call me out in front of your friends or family… I don’t think I could take it. These aren’t just strangers I’ll never see again.” He didn’t understand what she was trying to tell him. If she made him look bad, she’d never forgive herself.