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  “May I have this dance?” Gio managed to inquire without hyperventilating.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, but thank you for asking.” Eva kept her gaze on her drink.

  Gio held out his hand. “If you don’t dance with me, each of my brothers will be here in a heartbeat asking you why and wanting to know our backstory.”

  When she continued to ignore him, he sat down beside her. “I’m sorry, Eva. You have every right to be mad at me.”

  She looked at him then. “Don’t do this.”

  “What do you mean?” Was she afraid he was going to cause a scene?

  Eva ran her finger around the lip of her drink. “I don’t want to walk down memory lane. You did what you had to do. I’m sorry it cost you your scholarship.”

  Gio was speechless. He’d worked out what he was going to say to her, practiced it several times in his head. He’d imagined all the possible outcomes—what she might have said or done. He’d considered everything from her slapping him in the face to her throwing her drink on him, yet Eva apologizing to him had never entered his mind.

  “I would have left you alone. You didn’t have to give it all up.” She turned around and rested her back against the bar, her focus seemingly on the dancers.

  “No, you’re wrong. Leaving was my only option. I never could have stayed away from you. I’ve thought about you every day.” He flinched when she whipped around to stare at him.

  “Why would you say that to me?” Her eyes were calling him a liar.

  Finally, an emotion he was prepared to deal with. Anger was logical. Anger he understood. “Because it’s the truth. Why didn’t you fulfill your dream? Why aren’t you teaching?” He’d never said a word about BDSM or kink, but he must have somehow put the idea into her head.

  Eva drew farther away from him. “What makes you think I didn’t?” She turned and watched the other guests.

  “I was told you were bartending at DiscipliNation.” Was his idiot brother wrong? Why did he take his word for anything?

  “I’m multi-talented.” She sounded bored with their conversation.

  Of course, she worked two jobs. In college, she’d carried a full course load, worked full-time and still volunteered. She’d always been an overachiever. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was still donating her time to charities near and dear to her heart. “Dance with me.”

  “Why should I?”

  “I’ve already answered that.” When she continued to ignore him, he started to panic. Her responses didn’t make sense to him. “Why not?”

  “I’m bad for you,” she whispered, before tossing her chin into air. “It’s against my religion,” she answered, loud and clear.

  What? Had he heard her incorrectly? At least she’d given him something he could work with. “Then I guess we’ll have to find an ice skating rink around here.”

  She finally smiled. It was sad and a little crooked, though. “You remember that, do you?”

  She’d been taught that dancing was sinful. His answer to that was to take her skating. He could hold her tight and move around the rink under the guise that they were only skating. “I remember everything about you, Eva.”

  “Don’t. Do us both a favor and forget you ever met me.”

  “It’s not going to happen, Eva.” He held out his hand. “Skate with me.”

  She tipped her head forward and closed her eyes.

  In defeat? Was he wearing her down? He shouldn’t be happy about that, but he was. He stood and took her hand, tugging her toward the dance floor.

  “I haven’t changed, Gio. I’m still that awkward girl who never quite fits in. I’m not good for you.”

  He had no idea how she’d spun his leaving, but somehow she’d turned it all around and decided it was her fault. There was something disturbing about that. “I’ll take my chances.”

  Gio was pleased she hadn’t pulled away from him. He took her in his arms and glided her across the dance floor in long, smooth steps resembling their first ‘skate’.

  Eva rested her forehead against his chest and laughed. “I’ve missed you, Gio.”

  She spoke so quietly, he wasn’t sure if he’d heard her right. “I’ve missed you, Eva.” When she didn’t respond, he kept dancing. It was too awkward to be doing this in front of an audience, especially his family. He felt all their eyes boring into his back. “Can we go somewhere more private?”

  “No, I don’t think so.” Eva tried to pull out of his arms.

  Gio held her tighter. “Eva, I know I hurt you. I know I’m not worthy of your trust, but I only want to talk to you.”

  Eva snorted. “Oh, I have no doubt about that. Don’t worry, Gio. Your virtue is safe with me.”

  What the hell was she talking about? Was this about Alex’s crack about his ‘choirboy’ reputation? Or did this go back to that night…?

  “Eva, I want to talk to you and I don’t want to do it in this setting. Please.” He willed her to meet his gaze.

  She pulled back then looked him in the eye. “I don’t have anything to say to you, Gio, and I don’t want to ever see you again. Do us both a favor and just leave me alone.”

  He should let her go. It was the gentlemanly thing to do. But he couldn’t. He pulled her tighter and made sure his grip was unbreakable. “Back in school, it took weeks before you’d speak to me. I had to guilt you into helping me with calculus. What makes you think I’ll be less persistent now?”

  The fight went out of her, but she wasn’t talking either.

  “I’m not going to stop. You know I can be very persuasive when I want to be,” he whispered near her ear.

  “Eva, you doing all right, sweetheart? You should introduce me to your friend here.”

  Gio put his body between Eva and the tall, well-built newcomer. “This is a private conversation. Please excuse us.”

  “James,” Eva poked her head out from around Gio, “I’m fine. Gio is an old friend from college. We were just leaving.”

  Gio remained silent on the outside, but he was jumping for joy on the inside. James, the nosy son of a bitch, had done him a favor.

  “Be careful, Eva. You haven’t seen this guy in a long time. People can change.” James was sizing Gio up.

  “No, we don’t, James. Deep down, we never change.” Eva sounded sad and resigned, as she took Gio’s hand and led him out of the hall.

  Once they were away from prying ears, she turned around. “Okay, Gio, let’s get this over with. Where are we going?”

  She had an emotional wall between them that he wondered if he’d be able to break down.

  “I booked a room in case one of my idiot brothers tied one on. The last time I drove Andy home, he puked in my truck. I wasn’t taking that chance again.” He stopped by the elevators. “Are you okay with going up there alone with me?”

  “I’m not worried you’re going to jump my bones, if that’s what you’re talking about.” She held her chin high as if she was accusing him of something.

  “Okay, let’s go.” He kept his hand on her lower back and directed her into the elevator.

  He didn’t know what to say. Maybe this was a bad idea. Undoubtedly, he was thinking with his dick. No matter what he’d told her on the dance floor, he didn’t want to talk, he wanted to fuck her, to own her.

  If he was a good man, he’d send her back down to the reception and he’d honor her request. What was it about Eva that brought out the asshole in him?

  Chapter Two

  Gio slid his key card into the slot and opened the door. Eva entered without hesitation, determined to get through this and get out. It would have been easier if they were someplace without a bed, but she was afraid of what her friends would do if they thought she was uncomfortable with Gio. The last thing André needed was a fight between his Doms and his brother-in-law.

  She avoided the couch and sat in the armchair. Being in his arms again had fucked up her head. She felt like crying or begging him for a second chance and neither option was acc
eptable. Ever since their eyes had met at the wedding ceremony, she’d been thinking dangerous thoughts.

  Though she’d tried hard not to, she’d imagined having another chance in bed with Gio. This time, she wouldn’t be the innocent, scared of her own shadow woman. Having been in his arms, felt the heat of his body against hers, smelled his scent, she was living in a private hell all her own.

  She wanted Gio, wanted to feel him inside her. She’d longed for him since that one night they’d shared together. One disastrous night.

  “Can I get you something to eat or drink?” Gio stood near the bar.

  “No.”

  Gio moved to the couch and sat down close to her. “Eva”—Gio took her hand—“I’m really sorry.” He shook his head. “I have no excuse for being such an asshole. Can you ever forgive me?”

  Eva pulled her hand from his, needing to regroup before the tears started flowing. Gio tightened his hold and refused to let go, leaving her only humor to distance herself with emotionally. “I’d be sorry too, if I gave up a full ride scholarship because my girlfriend sucked in bed. Kicking her to the curb would have been much more efficient and cost so much less in the long run.”

  Gio shook his head. “Eva, this isn’t about you. The problem was never you.”

  “Oh, yeah? Then tell me what the problem was.” She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear this and yet she desperately wanted relief from the guilt she’d carried all these years.

  “Have you ever heard the phrase ‘honor among thieves’?”

  “Sure. It basically means, even criminals have a line they won’t cross.” She met and held his gaze. “You aren’t a bad guy, Gio. You’re a non-confrontational jerk, but you’re not a criminal.” She knew where this was going and immediately dismissed his line of thinking. “I wish you’d been upfront with me. It hurt that you left without saying goodbye.” She shook her head. She couldn’t wallow in her own misery. The issue that mattered was Gio leaving school. She needed to keep her focus on the important issue. “You left school because of me. I cost you your education.”

  “No, Eva. Please just let me say this… I need to say this.” He looked down at his hand holding hers. “I knew what I was doing was wrong. I didn’t respect your views.” He tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling. “I found a way around your objections every time—just like I did tonight. You didn’t want to dance with me, so I pretended we were skating. I used your kind heart to get you to do things you considered to be wrong. I knew I shouldn’t and I did it anyway, but I had drawn a line in the sand that I wouldn’t cross.”

  She stayed quiet. It was obvious he had planned out what he wanted to say and that he needed to get this off his chest.

  “You were so…good. So innocent. We came from different universes. I’d been working after hours in our kink club since I was eighteen. I knew things. Hell, I’d enjoyed things you couldn’t have imagined back then. I didn’t think you’d ever be able to accept my kink, and I didn’t want you to. That was the line I wouldn’t cross. You gotta believe me, Eva. All those things I said to you before we made love that night, I believed. I really did want to marry you. I planned to curb my kink and live a vanilla life. I never wanted you to know about that side of me.”

  As she listened to him, she began to understand where he was coming from. “That’s why you never talked about your family.” She’d always wondered about his childhood. Another thought occurred to her. “If you really intended to marry me, how did you think you could hide your parents’ club? Did you think it wouldn’t come up in conversation?”

  A little boy smile skittered across his face. “I didn’t have that all worked out. I assumed you wanted to live near your family, and I knew mine weren’t leaving Arizona, so I figured it would work out one way or another. My parents would never ‘out’ anyone, especially their own kid.”

  “So, I was right. You left because the thought of sleeping with me night after night for the rest of your life was more than you could take.” She forced air into her lungs. He had spun it a little to take the pressure off her, but the bottom line remained the same. She felt hollow inside. It was one thing to assume something and another to have her deepest fears confirmed.

  “No, Eva. You’re not listening to me. This isn’t your failing. It’s mine. I couldn’t give it up. The whole time we were…in bed, I wanted to be gentle and romantic, but all I could think about was dominating you. I knew if I stayed, I would. Just like I pushed you to dance with me, to watch R-rated movies and drink, I would have pushed you into kink too. That was the line I just couldn’t cross. Don’t you see, Eva? You’ve always been innocent.”

  So he thought she was innocent, did he? “What did you imagine doing to me, Gio?” Anger collided with desire and the emotions warred within her until she was ready to explode.

  Damn it! She wanted to punch something. If he’d just talked to her, maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t have spent the last six years afraid to be truly intimate with someone. She wouldn’t have backed away from every relationship before it had even had a chance to grow.

  “What?” He looked startled.

  “What’s your kink? What did you want to do with me?” She was running on pure nerves. It was fight or flight time and, unlike Gio, she didn’t hide from her problems. Nope, she was going to meet this one head on.

  Eva shackled his wrist and pulled his hand to her neck. “Did you want to put your hand around my throat while you fucked me?” She noticed his cock jump to attention.

  He pulled his hand away. “Eva, stop. I’m trying to explain.”

  “I don’t want your explanations. I told you that. If you want to talk about something, then tell me how you like to screw. Do you like your women restrained? Are you a ropes or leather man? Do you get off on wielding a crop or a flogger…? Maybe a whip? What does it for you, Gio?”

  Big, strong, confident Gio looked like he didn’t have clue one how to handle the new and improved Eva. It was almost comical. “Cat got your tongue? Well, I’ll break the ice. I want you to pin me down and fuck me hard. Yeah, sweet, innocent Eva likes it rough. What are you into, Gio?” Her voice had taken on a brittle quality she didn’t recognize, but it matched the way she felt inside.

  He sat back against the couch and ran his thumb and index finger around his mouth. “Eva, what is this all about?”

  “What do you mean, Gio?” She batted her eyelashes at him. “Oh, I get it. You’re still afraid to discuss kinky sex with me but this is your hotel room, so this time you can’t run away. No problem.” She patted his hand. “I’ll leave, but I won’t slink away in the dead of night. I’m telling you to your face. I’m outta here and stay the hell away from me. I don’t want to play ‘Remember when…’? ever again.”

  She practically jumped from the chair and stormed to the door. Eva barely had it open before Gio slammed it shut again. He took her by the arm and spun her around.

  “Sit your ass on the couch. We aren’t finished here.” He kept the door blocked, but he stepped aside enough that she could return to the seating area.

  So many comebacks flashed through her mind—harsh, cutting words that would put any man in his place—but she held her tongue. As much as she’d like to pretend his leaving hadn’t phased her, she knew it had shaped the course of her life and she needed closure as much as he did.

  “Make me.” She stared into his eyes, refusing to back down.

  His breathing hitched as he searched her face. Bending down, he grabbed her just above the knees and tossed her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. He walked past the couch and the armchair as he took her into the master bedroom. He kicked the door closed before he tossed her on the bed.

  Eva scrambled off the mattress and stood by the door to the bathroom. She wasn’t scared of Gio and she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t hoped they’d eventually end up in here, but events were escalating at a rate she wasn’t prepared for.

  “Last time we were in bed together, you couldn’t get the
job done. What makes you think tonight would be any different?” As soon as the words were out, she wished she could take them back. What the hell was wrong with her? She sounded like a mean, spiteful bitch. The last person she wanted to hurt was Gio.

  He pointed to the bed. “Sit down.” Then he turned his back and began removing his jacket, tie, cummerbund and shoes.

  If he’d continued to stare at her, she would have told him to go screw himself, but for whatever reason, him leaving her alone to decide for herself defused the situation. She threw a couple of pillows against the headboard, kicked off her heels and sat on the bed with her knees drawn up to her chin.

  “Thank you.” He sat hunched over on the bench at the foot of the bed. “Eva, you’re hurt and lashing out. I get it.” He shook his head. “And I deserve it. I should have talked to you. I owed you that.”

  He couldn’t be nice to her. She was holding her tears back by the skin of her teeth. If she gave in to them, she’d likely flood the whole freaking building. “All you owe me is a good, hard fucking. Can you do that, Gio?”

  “Knock it off, Eva. I’m trying to talk to you.”

  “The time for that has passed. Now your choices are fuck me or open the door and I’ll find someone who will.” Like that was possible. She hadn’t found a single man she was willing to have intercourse with since Gio had walked out on her that night.

  Oh, she hadn’t been a nun by any stretch of the imagination, but she hadn’t let her guard down with anyone either. Maybe if she could screw Gio, successfully, that monkey would be off her back. She could start over again. Find a guy she could build a life with.

  Gio couldn’t control his runaway thoughts. He hadn’t been prepared to see Eva again. Having her in his hotel room seemed more like a fantasy than reality but he feared if he screwed this up, he’d be living a nightmare.

  The Eva he’d known was driven and passionate about her causes. She was reserved and quiet, uncomfortable in social situations. Looking at Eva now, he wondered how much of the girl he’d fallen in love with still remained.