All Grown Up Read online

  Steven grabbed her ass checks roughly and began to bring the blood to the surface. She relaxed, knowing he was preparing her first. In the past, the few times Steven had punished her, he hadn’t eased her into it. The strikes had been harsh and jarring, very different from the erotic spankings she’d come to love. A punishment spanking usually consisted of only a few swats, but because there was no lead-up they were much more painful.

  “I love your skin. It’s so soft and supple. Did you miss your spankings, pretty girl?”

  “Yes, Master, very much. I love your hands on my body. Often, I would lie awake and remember all the naughty things we did together.” She wanted to tell him she missed the way he would pinch and pull her nipples until fire would streak to her clit, but the words just wouldn’t come out.

  He’d constantly played with her breasts. After a few months of being with him, her nipples had stayed semi-erect pretty much all the time. Now, unless she was cold, they disappeared. If not for the darker skin tone, one wouldn’t even recognize them as nipples. It was one more thing she disliked about her body.

  “Tell me your fondest memory,” he whispered as he rubbed and kneaded her ass.

  Oh God. This was the price he demanded. If she was going to win him back, she had to share her darkest secrets. She wanted to shrivel up and hide. Yet she couldn’t. Not this time. “You used to touch my breasts while we made love. I liked that.” Please let that be enough of a confession. She giggled timidly.

  “I know you’re nervous about your first punishment in a while. Remember to breathe. Do you like me calling you pretty girl?”

  “I love it, Master.” The word girl always made her pussy clench. It was one of the reasons why she’d thought she was a “little”. After doing more research, she understood the term was often used with submissives too. Had she looked into the subject and done her homework beforehand they wouldn’t be in this mess.

  “Why?”

  She almost groaned aloud in frustration again. To calm her nerves, she slowed her breathing and counted to five. She could do this. “I feel pretty in your arms and the term makes me excited. When you say it, I know I’m safe and protected. I get all soft and gushy inside.” It wasn’t quite the graphic version that swirled within her head, but it was accurate and honest.

  “Excellent, Brianna. I appreciate that you’re working on this for me. We both know you’re taking baby steps and we have a long way to go before we have the communication lines completely open, but we’re making progress. Thank you.” Steven brushed the hair away from her face as he drew back his right hand.

  She closed her eyes in anticipation of the first strike. Thirty-five swats were too many to contemplate and panic was tying her stomach in knots. She knew if she was going to get through this she had to relax, but it was so damn hard. He kept pushing her to talk to him and it was throwing her off. Was he doing it on purpose? Did he want her distracted? Maybe…

  The first smack landed on her right ass cheek, setting it ablaze. He alternated cheeks and gave her a total of five before stopping to rub and caress. Tears were already threatening to roll down her face. Her ass was on fire, but the tension was easing away. In sets of five, she only had to think about six more. She could do that. The pain was shifting into pleasure as his hands massaged her tender flesh.

  “We both made mistakes, Brianna. I allowed you to evade my questions and I made erroneous assumptions. I’m going to do my damnedest not to make those mistakes again. As we work through this and get more comfortable with each other again, I’m going to demand more from you. You’re giving me answers, but they’re vague. I want detailed, point-blank, no sugarcoated answers. Do you understand me?”

  “You’re right, Master. I’ll try harder.” Wetness had begun building in her pussy. Steven made her wet with his voice alone…and when he put his foot down—became a tyrant—she was at her most aroused. She knew he was caring and loving, but she thrived when he was a bastard. Years ago, he’d seen that in her, he knew. If only she’d listened.

  “That’s my pretty girl.” He drew his hand back and gave her five more swats.

  Now that she knew what to expect, she let out a breath of relief. The connection between them was coming together faster than she’d dreamed possible. Yes, he was pushing her both physically and mentally, but she felt more alive splayed across his lap than she had in the entire time she’d been away from him.

  His hand rubbing the sting into bursts of pleasure became her focus. The chaos quieted to a buzz and pushed far into the corner of her mind as peace edged its way in.

  “Why did you want both an over-the-knee spanking and a whipping, Brianna?” He ran his fingers through her hair while he waited for her answer.

  She’d promised she’d try. She had to give him a little more. “I was jealous of the sub you worked with in the demonstration. I’ve missed the feel of your whip, but I wanted the physical contact of lying over your lap that a spanking brings.” Her stomach was in knots again. It was so hard to speak her private thoughts. She knew it was silly. Steven wasn’t going to use them against her. He only wanted to know how best to dominate her and to do that, he needed information.

  “That’s much better, pretty girl. You’ve pleased me with your confession. There will be a reward for you later.” He administered the next five swats slightly stronger in intensity.

  Brianna gasped as the fire raced through her blood. God, it hurt, so good. “Thank you, Master.”

  “You have no reason to be jealous. I’ve played with many of the subs here, but there was never a love connection. No one has ever owned my heart but you. You were the only one to ever touch me here.” He laid his palm across his chest. “Don’t let that come between us.”

  “No, Master, I won’t. While I watched, I remembered all those long sessions when you would practice to make sure your aim was sure and true. I guess it whetted my appetite for a good whipping. But you have to stand back away from me to achieve the perfect strike and I’ve longed to feel your body touching mine.”

  She thought about his comment concerning the other subs. Since their separation had been her fault, she couldn’t blame him for moving on. “Thank you for reassuring me about the other women. As long as I know we’re committed and monogamous now, I can ignore what happened before.”

  Steven gave her round four of the swats. She was more than halfway there. Part of her wanted it to go on forever. Her backside would say otherwise, but the contentment filling her mind and heart overrode the physical discomfort.

  “Michelle had some trouble with the subs here after it became known she was Sean’s girl. I want you to tell me if anyone gives you any grief. Do not just let it slide. Tell me immediately.”

  His voice was firm and brokered no room for disobedience. She wondered what had happened to make him so adamant. “Okay. I’ll come to you if there is an issue.”

  “Good girl.” Steven swatted her ass five more times. “Your skin is such a lovely red and it’s radiating heat.” He unhooked his leg, allowing her to move. “Spread your legs for me, Brianna.”

  She did as ordered, but a spike of adrenaline rushed through her. At one of the clubs she’d visited, she watched a Dom smack his sub on her pussy. Frankly, it looked too painful to ever give way to pleasure. Surely, Steven would mention it before he did something like that…wouldn’t he?

  “Why are you tensing up, pretty girl? What are you thinking?”

  Fuuuck… She did not want to voice that out loud, but she’d made him a promise. “I’m worried you’ll hit me there. I don’t think I could take it.”

  Steven’s hands came to a stop and tension ran through his legs. She wished her hands were free so she could bury her face. Second-guessing her Master’s every intention wouldn’t win back his heart. She turned her face into her hair and closed her eyes.

  “Do you think of this as me hitting you?” His voice was soft and inquiring.

  His question surprised her and she realized she’d hurt him. Damn
it, damn it, damn it. This was why she didn’t talk. If she didn’t say anything, she couldn’t screw up something. “You’re spanking me because I earned a punishment. I spoke out of turn and I apologize. I’m yours to do with as you please, Master.”

  Slowly, Steven began to massage her butt again. “No, Brianna, you’re my gift from heaven. You’re mine to take care of and protect, to guide and pleasure. What activities we engage in will be mutually agreed upon. You have the ability to safeword at any time. You did not speak out of turn. I asked you a question and you answered it. I’m merely asking for clarification. You did nothing wrong.”

  His touch and voice were easing some of the knots out of her stomach.

  Steven moved his hand between her legs and inserted a finger into her pussy. “I wanted to make sure you were wet. Spankings used to turn you on and I was checking to see if that was still the case. Now, tell me why you thought I might swat this perfect pussy.”

  Oh she was wet. He needn’t have worried. “I saw it once at a club I visited. It looked truly painful.” Her voice was muffled against the couch and she hoped he heard her because she didn’t know if she could repeat it.

  “If I used the same force, I suspect it would be excruciating. What should you do if our play is more than you’re comfortable with?”

  “Talk to you about it, Master.” She wasn’t sure where he was going with this.

  “If something becomes too intense or too painful, Brianna, you safeword right then. You don’t wait and talk to me about it later. Using your safeword isn’t a bad thing. I have to trust that you’ll stop me if our play becomes more than you can handle.”

  He sounded a bit rattled and she wished she could soothe him. But the truth of the matter was, unless she was in immediate peril, she never intended to safeword. “Yes, Master, I know. You’ve gone over this many times.”

  “And yet I don’t think you’ve ever truly listened. Brianna. A safeword is a safety line for both of us. It gives us both the freedom to explore our boundaries. I can plan an intense scene because I know that if I cross the line you’ll stop me and you know that you can relax and let a scene play out because one word will stop everything. It works both ways, but I have to trust you to use it and you have to trust me to stop. Do you believe I will stop if you say 404?”

  “Yes, I have no doubt you would, Master.”

  “Good.”

  Steven applied pressure on her outside leg and she drew them closed. The weight of his right leg locked her in place. As soon as she relaxed he gave her five more swats. Her ass was truly tender now, but the steady rhythm was comforting and arousing.

  “The word hit has negative connotations for me. It brings up images of abuse in my mind. I never want you to think you’re helpless. Even though I added ten swats to the count you suggested, you can stop the spanking at any time. I knew how I’d planned to administer the punishment and how hard each strike would be. Those are two bits of information that you didn’t have when you told me your number. I also sensed I needed to exceed your suggestion so in your mind you would truly believe you had paid the price for your part of our separation. This exercise is about you letting go of the guilt and being free to start over.”

  He had turned her punishment into a mix between corrective and erotic. It hadn’t been the terrible spanking she’d envisioned. He’d prepared her skin before he’d begun swatting her and he was administering it in small, manageable chunks with lots of touching and massaging in between. His thought process had been right on the money. She wouldn’t have been absolved if he’d taken her suggestion at face value. By him adding to the number and her submitting to his decision, she felt pardoned.

  “You are very wise, Master, and I can’t fault your logic. You know the way my mind works and you were correct. Please, don’t think I believe this is abuse. My word choice was poor. I chose my punishment and although it sounds weird to admit this out loud, I enjoy spankings.”

  “I’m glad to hear that, Brianna.” He was quiet for a moment as he ran his fingers down her arms. “You have five more swats coming to you. You will ask for each one.”

  Her pussy clenched. Asking to be spanked was a major hot button for her. “Master, may I have another swat?” Her voice had taken on a seductive note.

  Immediately, his hand connected with her ass cheek.

  “Thank you. May I have a harder one, please?” She heard him growl and couldn’t help but smile. His thick, hard erection told her exactly what spanking her was doing to him.

  The last swat had really stung and she wished he’d caress it away, but she had three more coming. “Master, another swat, please.” This time the strike hadn’t been as strong and she felt oddly disappointed. “Hard-er please, Master.” Her voice had that singsongy lilt she knew he liked, as she begged him to increase the intensity.

  Her body moved forward from the force of the strike. Damn, it hurt and yet she wanted more. “Master, this is the last one. Please make sure I feel it for a good long while.”

  Again her body rocked on his lap as his hand pummeled her ass. It took her a moment before she could be sure of her voice. “Thank you, Master. I appreciate that you care enough to punish me.”

  She was so fucking wet. All she could think about was having his cock buried deep inside her, preferably from behind so she could feel each stroke along her burning ass cheeks.

  “That’s my pretty girl.” He untied her hands before rubbing her arms and shoulders. His hands slowly migrated down to her stinging ass and massaged the pain into pleasure.

  The feeling was exquisite. She couldn’t help but moan.

  “As much as I’d love to take you right here and now, you’ve requested a whipping. I wouldn’t want to shirk my duties.” He took her by the arms and steadied her as she stood.

  “Uhm, that could wait a bit, Master.”

  His eyes twinkled. “No, we need to get past this first. For your whipping, we’ll go out to the garden and use the St. Andrew’s Cross.”

  Her heart thudded so loudly she was sure he could hear it. She had no qualms scening in public or giving demos in which she was naked, but walking around bare embarrassed the hell out of her. He’d want her to tell him, but she couldn’t. If she put up a fuss, he might decide another sub was more suitable for demonstrations. No way could she allow that to happen. “As you wish, Master. Uhm…I don’t know the layout of the club well. May I walk behind you, Master?” Hide behind him was closer to the truth.

  Steven cocked his head to the side and gave her an odd look. “Is there something you’d like to tell or ask me, Brianna?”

  Oh shit. When he used her name, she knew he wouldn’t let the subject drop. Why had she tried subterfuge? Crap. Now she’d just have to go with it. “No, Master. In times past, you liked me to walk in front of you. Since I don’t know where the cross is here and this is such a large club, I thought it would be easier if I walked behind you.”

  “You were right to request both a spanking and a whipping. Obviously, I haven’t quieted those voices in your head yet. You’re overthinking again.” Steven walked to a set of doors on the wall to the right of the couch.

  As he spread them open, she saw he had his own private bathroom and a walk-in closet. He reached in and pulled out one of his dress shirts. After he’d closed the doors, he held it open for her. She slid her arms inside, very grateful he was allowing her to cover up. Steven directed her to face him and he slid the middle button into place.

  It was long enough to cover all the important areas and as long as she walked slowly and carefully, she wouldn’t be overly exposed. “Thank you, Master. You are most kind.”

  A scowl crossed Steven’s face as he took her chin between his thumb and index finger. “Brianna, I’d say based on the relief showing on your face that you’ve been lying to me. Kneel and explain.”

  Fuck.

  Chapter Three

  Brianna tilted her head to stare at the floor, but the blush covering her cheeks told him his guess was
an accurate one. “Look at me.” He used his Dom voice and was pleased when she immediately looked up. At least she still obeyed his direct commands. She had blinked several times, but clearly there were tears in her eyes. His first reaction was to hold her and yet he didn’t want to reward her for lying to him.

  “I get a little nervous walking around with only a collar on.” She laughed, but it sounded forced.

  He let go and took a step away from her. “Why didn’t you tell me when I asked?” This was exactly the same crap she’d pulled before.

  Her gaze sank to the floor again and she shivered. “It’s not that big of a deal. I don’t mind scening in public so it shouldn’t bother me to walk around.”

  Steven took a deep, calming breath before stepping close to her again. He ran his finger down the side of her face and applied pressure under her chin until she met his gaze. “And yet it does…therefore, you should have told me. What made you decide to lie to me instead?”

  “Master, I didn’t deem it important enough to mention. That’s not the same as lying.”

  The relief that had passed across her face told another story. While he debated how to respond, she closed her eyes and pushed downward slightly on his hand. He decided to allow the silence to grow and see what happened.

  The pulse in her neck was beating double time. There was definitely more to this than she was letting on. “Tell me.” He used a soft tone to encourage her to open up to him.

  Brianna bit her lip before turning into him. “I didn’t want to give you an excuse to demo with another woman. I was afraid if I told you it bugged me, you’d assume I had a problem scening in public and choose someone else.” Her voice was strained, as if she was struggling not to cry. “Please don’t throw me out. I really am trying.”

  Whoa, there were so many landmines in that confession he didn’t know where to begin. Had she always been this insecure or was she just overly so because of their time apart? “Sit with me, Brianna, we need to talk.”